10条冷笑话,就几句话,
1)
Talk
back
to
your
Rice
Krispies.
All
of
a
sudden,
act
offended,
throw
the
bowl
on
the
floor
and
kick
it.
Refuse
to
clean
it
up,
explaining,
"No,
I
want
to
watch
them
suffer."
跟你的米酥(一种零食)讲话,然后突然!表现出你被冒犯的样子,把装米酥的碗摔在地上、并一脚踹上去。跟你的室友说你不会打扫,并解释:“我就是要看他们被折磨的样子!”
2)
Every
time
your
roommate
walks
in
yell,
"Hooray!
You're
back!"
as
loud
as
you
can
and
dance
around
the
room
for
five
minutes.
Afterwards,
keep
looking
at
your
watch
and
saying,
"Shouldn't
you
be
going
somewhere?"
每次你室友回来的时候都大声欢呼:“哇!你回来啦!!”然后围着他跳舞跳上五分钟,接着就一直看表,问他:“你是不是该出去一趟啊?”
3)
Make
a
sandwich.
Don't
eat
it,
leave
it
on
the
floor.
Ignore
the
sandwich.
Wait
until
your
roommate
gets
rid
of
it,
and
then
say,
"Hey,
where
the
heck
is
my
sandwich!?"
Complain
loudly
that
you
are
hungry.
做个三明治,不要吃、把它丢在地板上。然后就无视那块三明治、直到你室友受不了把它给扔了。这时候你就可以大声喊饿,问:“我那该死的三明治哪儿去了!?”
4)
While
your
roommate
is
out,
glue
your
shoes
to
the
ceiling.
When
your
roommate
walks
in,
sit
on
the
floor,
hold
your
head,
and
moan.
趁你室友外出的时候,把你的鞋子沾在天花板上,等他回来的一瞬间坐在地板上,摸着头大叫痛。
5)
Tell
your
roommate,
"I've
got
an
important
message
for
you."
Then
pretend
to
faint.
When
you
recover,
say
you
can't
remember
what
the
message
was.
Later
on,
say,
"Oh,
yeah,
I
remember!"
Pretend
to
faint
again.
Keep
this
up
for
several
weeks.
对你室友说:“我有个重要的消息要告诉你!”然后装晕倒。接着等你醒过来的时候就跟他说你忘记是什么消息了。等一会,又说“哦!我记起来了!”然后继续装晕倒。这样持续玩上个几星期。
6)
Collect
hundreds
of
pens
andpile
them
on
one
side
of
the
room.
Keep
one
pencil
on
the
other
side
of
the
room.
Laugh
at
the
pencil.
买一大堆笔回来,在房间的一边排列好。然后只把其中一支放在房间的另一边,对着它大笑。
7)
Buy
some
knives.
Sharpen
them
every
night.
While
you're
doing
so,
look
at
your
roommate
and
mutter,
"Soon,
soon...."
买一些刀回来,每天晚上磨,边磨边看着你的室友小声嘟哝:“快了、就快了……”
8)
Draw
a
tiny
black
line
on
your
nose.
Make
it
bigger
every
day.
Look
at
it
and
say,
"The
hair,
it's
growing.
Growing!"
在你的鼻子上画一条细线,每天加粗一点,然后对着你的室友喊:“看!它在生长!在生长!”
9)
Move
everything
to
one
side
of
the
room.
Ask
your
roommate
if
he
knows
how
much
an
elephant
weighs,
and
look
at
the
floor
on
the
empty
side
of
the
room
with
concern.
把房间里所有东西都移到墙边,一边很认真地盯着地板看,一边问你室友:你觉得一头大象能有多重呢?
10)
Collect
potatoes.
Paint
faces
on
them
and
give
them
names.
Name
one
after
your
roommate.
Separate
your
roommate's
potato
from
the
others.
Wait
a
few
days,
and
then
bake
your
roommate's
potato
and
eat
it.
Explain
to
your
roommate,
"He
just
didn't
belong."
收集一堆土豆、给它们分别画上脸、取名字。然后把那个以你室友命名的和其他土豆分开。几天后把它烤来吃了,跟你的室友解释说:“它就是跟大家合不来嘛……”
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