英语句子改错，感觉怪怪的，可是不知道怎么改?

Question

I am writing to enquire that Could I submit the materials of application and you could give me the conditional offer at first, after that, I will get the exam and send in the score as soon as possible.

Answer 1

从句中不能用疑问句的形式。
I am writing you to enquire if I could submit the materials of application and if I can be favoured a conditional offer. Then, I will take the examination and send you the scores as soon as possible.

Answer 2

Dear sir,

I am writing this email to inquire whether there is a possibility that I submit my application documents first and so you can provide me a conditional offer. Then I will take the exam and send in my test score as soon as I can.
语气一定要客气追问

那邮件主题写什么呀？application consulting？

追答

可以用
application query

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