1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
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2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
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3)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
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4)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,âDid you buy a good box of matches?â
âYes,Mum.âTommy replied,âI have tried them all.â
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5)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
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6)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.âWhat did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?â
âI gave it to a poor old woman,âhe answered.
âYouâer a good boy,âsaid the mother proudly.âHere are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?â
âShe is the one who sells the candy.â
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7)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,âWhat happened?â
âA kid bit me,âreplied Ivan.
âWould you recognize him if you sew him again?âasked his mother.
âIâd know him any where,âsaid Ivan.âI have his ear in my pocket.â
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8)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
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